Dame Judi Dench becomes oldest person ever to cover Vogue

Up until about two weeks ago, I had only seen three of the Daniel Craig Bond movies (CR, SF, SP) but since NTTD has been pushed back, and Quarantine has given me a lot more time of my hands, I figured I would watch the rest of the official series. It’s safe to say I am a Bond fan now :)

1. Casino Royale- I know recently it’s become the ‘cool’ thing to hate on Craig’s take as Bond, or his tenure as Bond or whatever people like to bitch about, but Casino Royale really reminds you why his Bond is so popular. A lot of entries in my top ten I could get sick of after awhile, but like GoldenEye, Casino Royale really only gets better on rewatch. Craig is fantastic as a young double O agent who is overly confident but at the same time charming as hell. The movie really strips away all of what we know of Bond completely by the end of the movie and leaves us with a hardened agent. I used to dislike the stuff with Vesper, but recently I’ve been able to really appreciate the value in her character. Le Chiffre is actually a villain you can understand, and every scene is masterfully done.
2. Licence To Kill- When talking about TLD, I was pretty much just gushing over Dalton, but the reason why is that everything that is set up in that movie, is paid off in LTK. While I would have loved a third Dalton movie, the two he is featured in really give a lot of closure to his character in my eyes. He’s introduced as this agent who is more of a reluctant hero, as he doesn’t like taking orders and is questioning his occupation as a killer. All of this comes to a head when his friends are maimed and killed, and he seeks revenge against a dangerous drug cartel. It almost makes Dalton’s Bond feel tragic in a way, like he’s destined to always be a killer. Not that this movie is completely depressing, it honestly has some of the best action in the series, and Sanchez is definitely the most underrated Bond Villain. Can’t get enough of Dalton’s Bond, but LTK, like Skyfall, just feels like an event in the series.
3. GoldenEye- Does anyone really dislike GoldenEye? I don’t think I’ve ever seen or met someone who doesn’t like this movie. Well it’s not really hard to see why, because as Bond was launched into the 90s, this soft reboot really took Bond in an incredibly exciting direction. The scale of this movie feels so much larger than anything else in the franchise and is always fun to watch. Brosnan feels so fresh and new, almost like a predecessor to Connery. He’s cool and confident, and his scene with M is one of my favorites. Could watch this movie at anytime and still love it.
4. Goldfinger- Maybe the most Iconic Bond movie, Goldfinger is just really entertaining but also groundbreaking for establishing the Bond formula. Goldfinger himself is easily Connery’s best villain, maybe just because he feels so determined and isn’t connected to SPECTRE or anything. Connery is amazing, the set pieces still hold up, and is just a fantastic film I’m it’s own right.
5. The Living Daylights- Timothy Dalton is without a doubt my favorite Bond. I find him to be a perfect amalgamation of all the Bonds. He’s got the ruthless cold demeanor of Craig, the sensitivities of Lazenby, he has no trouble finding humor in situations like Moore, he can easily charm a woman like Connery and he knows how to use a gadget from Q just like Brosnan. I know now Dalton is in no ways underrated, maybe only by the general public, but I’m really glad he’s getting a fair shake these days. While I prefer LTK, Daylights introduces us to Dalton’s fresh take and also includes my favorite Bond girl, simply because for once in the series, Bond actually seems to be in love. The only thing I could say against this movie is that the Villain is unfortunately very weak, but other than that, a great movie in the series.
6. Skyfall- Coming up on almost 25 movies in a franchise, Bond movies can often feel pretty disposable but Skyfall really feels like an event in the series. Coming 4 years after one of the worst movies in the franchise, the plot line questioning if Bond is up for his missions feels really relevant and actually attempts to explore the character. Despite the first act being a little slow moving, once the film introduces Silva, my favorite Bond villain, it really becomes something special. Judi Dench’s M delivering her testimony in court spliced with Silva wreaking havoc in London still gives me chills. Amazing visuals, a standout plot and Villain, and Craig at the absolute top of his game.
7. Live And Let Die- I feel like Moore’s first outing is one of the more underrated or at least under appreciated moments in the series. When I think of the Moore era, with all the quips and gadgets and camp, I immediately think of scenes from LALD. It’s also one of the weirder movies in the franchise, dealing with Voodoo and seemingly attempting a blaxploitation film. I love the villains, I love how weird it is, I love Solitaire who’s easily one of my favorite Bond girls. This is just a really easy to digest and entertaining movie to me.
8. Thunderball- One of my favorite parts of these movies is easily the stunts and action set pieces so it’s strange that that is my least favorite aspect of Thunderball. I’m sure they were impressive in 1965, but 55 years later I wouldn’t say it really holds up. That said, this is one of my favorite Connery performances. It’s just so entertaining watching him interact with the environments and the different characters and it’s clear that he’s having fun, so I always feel like I’m having fun when I watch this movie.
9. For Your Eyes Only- Considering Moore was relatively old to play Bond when he started his Tenure, five films in it really starts to become apparent. I’m someone who definitely prefers a younger Bond, but this is a rare occasion in the series where an older Bond actually fits in the story. This movie I find to be the most interesting Moore film and while its not high art or anything, it’s quite a contemplative moment for the Bond films.
10. From Russia With Love- I want to get the negatives out of the way in saying I really don’t like the first hour of this movie. Nothing stands out at all and I just find it a drag to sit through. That being said, and with this movie being in my top ten, it’s really a testament to how great the second half is. All the scenes on the train feel like classic old school Bond and it’s a shame nothing like this will probably ever be made in the series again. Very well done and exciting to watch.
11. The Man With The Golden Gun- Like I said earlier, even though he’s not my favorite Bond I can enjoy almost all of the Moore era movies. JW Pepper is one of the strangest decisions ever made for the series IMO and just on that, I can’t help but enjoy how stupid this movie is. I feel like it’s weakness is that it tries to be too much like LALD which is definitely better, but it’s still pretty enjoyable.
12. Octopussy- Is this a hot take to have Octopussy so high? I mean yeah the gorilla, Tarzan and clown scenes are admittedly stupid, is it really anymore stupid than anything else in the series? I don’t know, I think it’s kind of fun seeing Bond in these environments. The plot is decent, the villain is decent, the title is hilarious, I just enjoy this one for whatever reason.
13. The Spy Who Loved Me- While not my favorite Moore movie, it is easily one of the most iconic. Moore is at the top of his game despite an underwhelming main villain. Jaws is great, Bond is fun, and the girls are equally as enjoyable to watch. Definitely a crowd pleaser.
14. Dr. No- Similar to OHMSS, I don’t know how often I would rewatch this movie, but it definitely feels important as you watch it. Even though the franchise would improve beyond this point, it really is impressive how well everything was coordinated even from the start. Connery didn’t need any time to ease into the role and it shows. A really important and enjoyable movie.
15. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service- I’ll be completely honest, this has never been one of my favorites of the series but I do appreciate it for what it is. Great directing and lighting in this movie which I really appreciated, but what holds this one back so much for me is Lazenby’s performance. I know he has his fans, but I really just never see him as Bond, and since it’s a Bond movie, I really never feel the urge to rewatch this movie. I like the idea of a more sensitive Bond, and the closing scene is genuinely emotional, I just personally am not a big fan.
16. The World Is Not Enough- I’m glad people don’t look down on this movie as much anymore because to be honest it’s pretty fun to watch. I’d say the worst thing about it is it feels like one of the sillier Bond plots, but Brosnan is going for a more serious portrayal of the character. Both work on their own, but I think it would work better if they were both kept for other missions. Still, really good action, very entertaining, Brosnan is great, and I don’t care how bad she is in the movie, Denise Richards is hot as fuck.
17. Spectre- If this movie didn’t include all the ridiculous nonsense of Bond and Blofeld being brothers, and Blofeld being connected to all the other Craig movies, and maybe just everything including Blofeld, I could see this sitting comfortably a few spots up on this list. Because taking all that shit out, it’s pretty much a by-the-numbers Bond mission which it seems fans have been clamoring for for awhile now. Don’t hate this movie, Craig is still good, the action is fine, you can watch it. But definitely some terrible decisions in the script process.
18. A View To A Kill- Often regarded as Moore’s worst, sometimes even considered the franchise’s worst, but mostly just a guilty pleasure for me. As a fan of bad movies, I can’t really hate this film. It’s hilarious watching a near sixty James Bond trying to stop Christopher Walken from blowing up Silicon Valley. Just a really strange but fun to laugh at movie.
19. You Only Live Twice- Definitely the moment where the wheels started to come off for Connery, but has some enjoyable elements. Connery is still charming and the adventure is still there for the most part, it just doesn’t really stand out in the franchise.
20. Tomorrow Never Dies- While this isn’t the worst Brosnan Bond film, it is Brosnan’s worst performance as Bond if that makes sense. I think he’s a great Bond otherwise, but he’s probably the worst thing about this movie. He seems bored and like he’s about to fall asleep the whole movie. Only thing that keeps it from being a complete waste is a few standout action scenes especially the remote control car chase. Also Brosnan is legitimately good in his scene with Q.
21. Diamonds Are Forever- My most controversial take on the entire Bond series might be the fact that I don’t see Connery as the ideal Bond or the best to play the character or anything to that effect, but I’ll be the first to admit his run as Bond was definitely one of the most consistent. Unfortunately even for him, he got to the point where it was clear he was just showing up for a paycheck.
22. Moonraker- Most agree that Moore stuck around in the Bond role for far too long, but it’s odd how IMO, Moores worst comes directly in the center of his tenure. Not much else to say, except I was extremely bored throughout the duration of this movie. Moore doesn’t seem to care so why should I. Jaws coming back was ok and I kind of liked the scene on the ski lift or whatever that was, but really all you get from this outing is recycled set pieces from better Bond movies and a shameless rip off of Star Wars for the last 25 minutes. Eh.
23. Quantum Of Solace- It’s kinda weird how this movie brings absolutely nothing to the table, coming directly after one of the biggest breathes of air in the entire franchise. Just feels like the director heard that the Bond franchise was heading in a dark direction and decided to make the dullest action movie of all time. I’m all for experimentation in this series, but it not only doesn’t feel like a Bond film, it doesn’t feel like anything at all. Only reason it’s above DAD is because it didn’t necessarily put me in a bad mood (literally put me in no mood at all) and I think the Bond theme is pretty good. I have this as the worst Craig movie and not Spectre I guess just because even though Spectre has laughably bad writing, at least it has something to laugh at.
24. Die Another Day- Honestly even though I definitely prefer the grittier more modern approach to Bond, I can definitely get into a campy Bond movie and I actually quite enjoy most of the Roger Moore era. Unfortunately for the case of Brosnan’s final outing, this movie really just feels like it’s trying to be something it’s not and it’s pretty depressing. Maybe it’s because I watched it at 8AM but this is one of the only Bond movies that puts me in a bad mood.

If I seem overly critical, just keep in mind I pretty much at least enjoy everything from 19-1. Let me know what you think!

POSSIBLE SPOILERS
Many have been speculating exactly what Madeleine Swann’s secret is in No Time To Die. I wanted to make a post with all the concrete details the trailers and other official sources have given us.
First of all, we know that the Noh mask we see Safin wearing in the trailers has a significance to Madeleine as early as the Matera scenes, which will likely be the first in the film. She cries when she receives the box with the broken mask in it, the same mask we see Safin wear as he fires a gun at someone under the ice. This links her secret directly with Safin. What is interesting too is that in Noh theatre the main character often is a ghost. “Faces from my past return...”
Bond knows in Matera that Madeleine has some secret but he does not know what it is. She asks him “Why would I betray you?” in the DB5 as they are being chased in Matera. Even by the time they are in London at MI6 Blofeld taunts James with “When her secret finds its way out, it’ll be the death of you.” Bond by that point still does not know, but Madeleine, Safin, and Blofeld all know independently.
Madeleine in Spectre tells James that a man came to her home one night with the intention of killing her father but she killed him first. Her father of course was Mr. White, the man responsible for the deal that cost Vesper Lynd her life.
In the song trailer, some clever editing shows both Bond and Madeleine with notes. Bond stands before a tomb with a burning note that reads “Forgive Me.” I am aware of articles that talk about unofficial details regarding the tomb, but here I want to focus on official. The tomb, if in Matera and has an emotional significance to Bond, would have to be Vesper’s. She is the only one who could be buried in Italy, and it very well was likely James himself who buried her considering she was an orphan without any family. If the tomb sets off a chain of events that allows Bond to know that Madeleine has a secret, this must link Vesper, Mr. White, Madeleine, Safin, and Blofeld together.
Madeleine would have been 20 years old around the events of Casino Royale and was estranged from her father by this point. Vesper herself was 25 when she died. I think this precludes Madeleine’s secret from having anything to do with Vesper’s death. Also, in Spectre, Blofeld uses the tape of Mr. White’s suicide to torture Madeleine. If she was a part of SPECTRE, he would not have done so. Blofeld hated Mr. White because White was tired of Blofeld’s evil games.
The biggest question I still have is what is important enough to Bond to be “the death of him.” His relationships with Vesper and (Judi Dench’s) M, sure, but the man already has lost both of them. On top of that he is an orphan and his ancestral home was blown to pieces. Madeleine is the only thing he loves now.
So, from all evidence we have currently, we know why Madeleine’s secret likely isn’t:
• She did not help her father orchestrate Vesper’s betrayal to save Yusuf.
• She is not secretly a SPECTRE agent or the “real” head of SPECTRE.
What it likely could be:
• Madeleine and Safin are brother and sister. Mr. White’s children chose different paths, one becoming fully dedicated to crime and the other dedicated to living honorably. (Vesper?)
• Madeleine contributed to Safin’s science programs before the events of Spectre but did not know he was developing something malicious. She knows who the kidnapped scientist is and that is what links Bond, Felix, and Paloma together to find the scientist. (Vesper?)
The piece I cannot understand yet is Vesper.
If y’all would like to add anything, please feel free! This is all just what I have observed from watching each trailer too many times and analyzing it all. April 10 cannot come soon enough!

I originally posted this here in /flicks, as part of the weekly "Change My View" thread in that subreddit.
Major spoilers for the most recent James Bond film, SPECTRE, have also been marked with the appropriate spoiler tags. I have not marked spoilers for the previous three Daniel Craig 007 films.
Daniel Craig's James Bond is the first Bond whose entire character arc has been shown on film in great detail. Over the course of four films, we have obtained quite a bit of insight into his childhood and youth, and we have watched Bond earn the double-oh licence to kill, fall deeply in love with two women, and lose two women very close to him. The Craig era has also taken it upon itself to establish a new (male) M, a new Q, a new Moneypenny, SPECTRE spoilers - all of whom have significantly more personal connections to Bond than did previous incarnations of those characters. Now I know that the series has changed lead actors while retaining the same M/Q/Moneypenny/etc before, and I know Bond's past has been explored at least briefly prior to the Craig era. My concern is that when Craig does retire the Walther PPK and someone else takes up the holster, it will be extremely difficult to do what the series has so deftly done in the past and act as though it's still the same old Bond, because the timeline and backstories of Bond and co. have been explained in such detail during the Craig era.
As many of you may know, before the Craig era, there was a very loose continuity in place regarding Bond's history. The majority of the films were also separate entities; if you strip all the Bond films of the zeitgeist references that date them, it is hard to argue with certainty that in the span of Bond's life the events of Tomorrow Never Dies take place after the events of Thunderball or vice versa, for instance. Continuity prior to 2006 consisted of a few tenuous links, mostly related to Bond's wife Tracy, her death, and the fact that three Bond actors (four if you consider the opening of Diamonds are Forever to be vengeance) had a reference to Tracy in their films. The changing of Bond's actor was in a lot of ways made more palatable because of the lack of definite continuity, IMO; there was no need to establish origin stories or depict how Bond meets his nemesis or something like that whenever there was an actor switch.
I am not faulting the Craig era for introducing a backstory to James Bond; like many people, that's one of the reasons I love Casino Royale and why it was such a breath of fresh air upon its release. But the Craig era is unparalleled in that it is a fact that the events of Bond's life occur in the chronological order that the films were released; the events of Skyfall is perhaps the exception but even it is assigned a definite place in the timeline because Spectre is its immediate sequel, and Spectre makes it clear that the events of CR and QoS occurred before the events of Skyfall. I feel that the Craig era's attempt to connect everything chronologically will make it difficult to start a new actor in the role as though nothing has changed.
I also feel that the personal connections of many of the supporting characters to Craig!Bond will also hinder the ease of having another actor as Bond without explanation. Prior to Casino Royale, Bond never had a connection to M as personal as do Craig!Bond and the two Ms he has worked with; the death of Judi Dench's M not only forever ties her to his Bond but it has even informed the relationship he has with Ralph Fiennes' M. Never before have Bond and Miss Moneypenny been connected in such a way as her near-fatal injuring of him in Skyfall. And most importantly, SPECTRE spoilers With all of these backstories so firmly connected to Craig's 007, I think it would be damn near unacceptable to have a new actor in the role and imply that it was the same man who experienced those other things.
Subsequently I think that going forward, into a future of Bond movies not starring Daniel Craig, the series has to work around that fact somehow. A lazy way might be to use the popular (albeit somewhat controversial) "Bond is a codename given to different agents" fan theory. I don't really see this happening; I think it is much more likely that post-Craig, the series would hard reboot itself once more so that the Craig era became its own self-contained arc - and I for one would be dismayed to see that, because I have no desire to see the series fall into the so-called Amazing Spiderman territory where we're forced to sit through movies setting up origin stories for characters whose origin stories we saw in the very recent past.
What does /movies think? Will the creation of and reliance upon continuity started in the Daniel Craig 007 films lead to problems when the next Bond actor takes over?

http://screenhooked.com/2015/11/22/spectre/
SPOILER WARNING
Alright, it’s been two weeks. I’ve had the same “spoiler-free” discussion with about 15 people now, and I’m ready to put out my thoughts after finally seeing it. I’m already sick of talking about this movie, so this thesis will be filled with SPOILERS.
I guess I should start at the beginning. The long take at the opening is probably the most impressive I’ve ever seen. It tops every shot in Birdman, Rope or Star Trek. The rest of the sequence, however, fell flat. It doesn’t appear to me that in Spectre, Daniel Craig doesn’t want to do Bond anymore (though he doesn’t, and I accept that), more than he’s very comfortable in the role of 007, but his stiff walking through crowds doesn’t convey a real sense of urgency no matter how many quick cuts, nervous camera shakes, or intense music Sam Mendes throws in.
Classic Bond films typically opened towards the end of a mission completely irrelevant to the plot that gets you in the mood to see Bond, and sets the tone for the rest of the film. Spectre fulfills almost all of that, especially the last part, because the tone they were going for was “long, drawn out, and a little goofy.” The chase through the Day of the Dead festival in Mexico City wasn’t interesting. I’m not talking about Bond’s little rogue mission, but the chase itself. I can leave the building blowing up randomly alone, and I thought the couch landing was a nice nod to the Roger Moore films (I would later find more and more), but how many times do we have to watch Bond take down a helicopter in these movies? I know there’s a finite amount of ideas one can do, but there’s no suspense in this opening sequence because this thing is 150 minutes long, and Bond has to live through it, and this guy hasn’t been in a hospital since he was born, so shorten the action sequence to where the helicopter only does ONE barrel roll, and let us move on to the title sequence.
Now, I find the opening sequence absolutely gorgeous, but most people have complained about the song by Sam Smith, which I’m okay with, it’s not the worst Bond theme, and you’re not going to top Skyfall, so I can let that go. I’m going to skip over the obvious tentacle porn joke, because I really like how they integrated the S.P.E.C.T.R.E. logo. Unlike most Bond title sequences, this didn’t bore the shit out of me, so I’ll give them props for that. But there’s still no constant theme running through (besides the tentacles), which is part of what made Casino Royale‘s title sequence so great. Still, this is probably the last thing I would complain about.
Now, what I like about how they open the first act is how they handle the other characters of MI6 in addition to Bond. We see Bond’s barely decorated London apartment, which we’ve never seen before, an interesting, if unsurprising look into the private life of 007. M (Ralph Fiennes) used to just be a guy who gave Bond his missions from behind a desk, but we now actually see what he has to put up with, especially since now the 00 program is getting ready to be replaced by a mass surveillance system called “Nine Eyes.” Ben Whishaw’s skittish Q is still fitting nicely into Desmond Llewelyn’s shoes, and the “will they, won’t they” set up for Bond and Moneypenny (Naomie Harris) feels natural. Bond reveals to Moneypenny that Judi Dench’s M posthumously sent him on a mission to kill his target in Mexico and “don’t miss the funeral.” So after M grounds Bond, he enlists Q and Moneypenny to help him carry out this personal mission that doesn’t really make any sense looking at it from M’s perspective. Shouldn’t this guy have already been a priority if Judi Dench was telling Bond about him from the dead right as he was planning to blow up a stadium?
Anyway, Q puts microbot tracking things in Bond’s bloodstream, which proves useless for the rest of the movie, because it’s supposed to add tension to the Bond disobeying M plot, but Q just lies to M over the phone anyway. It’s just one more thing we have to think about that doesn’t affect the overall story at all. Q could have contacted Bond in one way or another without approaching him in person at a ski resort psychiatrist’s office (seriously, what even is that place?). I’ll get more into Lea Seydoux’s Dr. Madeleine Swann later.
Bond goes to Rome for the funeral against M’s orders to attend the funeral of the guy he kicked out of a helicopter. The attendees are mostly made up of S.P.E.C.T.R.E. employees and the woman Bond made a widow. We get our first look at Christoph Waltz, who I thought was in the right amount of the movie (more on that later) but we don’t see his face, and he leaves as soon as Bond is in his peripheral vision. After saving the widow in a very Roger Moore-esque exchange, he begins seducing the widow with some of the most awkward kissing I’ve ever seen on film, before giving him the location of a S.P.E.C.T.R.E. meeting. We never see this woman again, checking the box for “The Bond girl nobody cares about.”
This is where it gets interesting. Bond attending the S.P.E.C.T.R.E. meeting was in all of the teasers, so the impact was most certainly lost. Christoph Waltz controls the room without saying a word or showing his face, which is all thanks to the cinematography and Mendes’ direction. I guess I’ll refer to him as Blofeld because it’s easier to type (and we all knew he was going to be Blofeld anyway). Blofeld addresses the events in Mexico, and Mr. Hinx (Dave Bautista) takes the place of the man at the other end of the table by gouging his eyes out with what appear to be metal fingernails. We don’t exactly get a good look at Hinx, for most of the time he’s on screen. It’s clear that he’s a near-indestructible monster, but… he’s Jaws. He’s just a bigger version of Jaws. I understand it’s difficult to create new villains in a time where everybody nitpicks the logic, but you moved the steel from one part of the body to another, and you made sure he didn’t talk until his last appearance. They even killed him the way Brody, Quint and Hooper tried to kill Jaws! After Blofeld addresses Bond directly, he runs and we get a boring car chase (though humorous in that half the car’s gadgets hadn’t been installed yet) capped off by Bond ejecting from the car. Meanwhile, we’re getting exposition from Moneypenny, and so we don’t groan at the idea of returning to Quantum of Solace, we’re given something almost as boring to look at.
Anyway, Bond goes to Austria to find Mr. White (Jesper Christensen) dying of thallium poisoning and eventually convinces him to lead him to S.P.E.C.T.R.E. through his daughter, Madeleine, who as all Bond girls do, rebuffs James at first before eventually succumbing to his charm after he saves her life. This is where I might go on a bit of a rant, because her addition to this cast and the plot drags out this movie and extra thirty minutes at least. Instead of White telling Bond about the hotel in Morocco, we have to wait until Bond gets it out of Swann, all because Bond had to be a man of his word. I guess they just wanted a chase sequence in the snow instead of Morocco because they already had Mexico as their “hot and arid climate” chase setting. I don’t hate Seydoux. She’s serviceable in her role, but she’s added in to up the stakes for Bond as a love-interest, which he shouldn’t have, because Eva Green’s Vesper was supposed to be the last woman Bond would ever love (or trust for that matter). This was just some bullshit added in so that Bond (by which I mean Daniel Craig) could have a reason to “leave” at the end. We now have to endure a long train conversation about guns and self-defense before Hinx interrupts and other shoehorned character development. Not to mention just waiting for stuff to happen like when they’re picked up in an old-fashioned Rolls Royce.
But back to Austria, it is revealed that all of the villains we’ve seen Craig’s Bond defeat (yes even in Quantum) is connected through S.P.E.C.T.R.E. and I’m fine with it. Is it forced? Sure, but what did we expect? This is one of several things in the movie meant to give it a finale vibe for both Craig and Mendes, a privilege no other Bond actor was ever given. Q is utilized well here, but like I said before, he doesn’t need to be there for anything other than the screen-time his agent probably fought for. Swann reveals the name White gave Bond is the hotel in Morocco, in which Bond drunkenly points a gun at a rat which leads him to S.P.E.C.T.R.E. That sounds ridiculous, and it is, but at this point, I don’t care, because we’re already deep into Roger Moore territory, so this already can’t be taken that seriously anymore. I don’t know how White accessed that room without tearing up the dry wall, but I’m letting that go, because we’ve got coordinates to a crater in the desert! I almost forgot about the car chase with the plane and the car after Madeleine is taken by Hinx, because nothing happens in it. Craig follows the car with the plane, they exchange bullets, and then Bond crashes the plane into the cars so he can get Madeleine. It’s a boring sequence that lasts way too long, but it’s okay, because we got the girl who refuses to talk to Bond that he will eventually have sex with.
So now we’re finally meeting Blofeld for real this time. The introductory sequence with the meteorite is beautifully shot, as is most of this movie. Aside from maybe Skyfall, this has the best cinematography of any Bond movie. Anyway, Blofeld reveals that he created Nine Eyes which will give S.P.E.C.T.R.E. unlimited access to the entire intelligence community (though it looks as if they already have it?) and monologues about his evil plan as Blofeld is prone to do. What follows is one of the best torture scenes in 007 canon, second only to Casino Royale‘s medieval vasectomy. Blofeld reveals his personal connection to James, as well as his full name “Ernst Stavros Blofeld” which he adopted from his mother’s side of the family. And this is something that I had mixed feelings about. I do think Blofeld should have some kind of personal beef with Bond. Bond messes with his operations, he killed Bond’s wife. That’s as simple as it should be. I think it’s too much of a stretch to say that Blofeld is essentially his step-brother with daddy issues. We’re supposed to think of Blofeld as a scoiopathic criminal mastermind, but here he’s just a child jealous of his father’s attention. And we get to think “Oh, well he’s crazy, so it all makes sense.” But Bond would probably remember Franz Oberhauser, and he doesn’t reveal that to anyone, not even the audience. I get that he’s not supposed to trust anyone, but he trusts everyone in this movie to do their jobs. I guess it wouldn’t do anyone any good if they knew Bond’s connection to him. This whole backstory just feels to convenient for me, and it feels dumb that these just happen to be the paths that both characters took. The whole “author of all your pain” thing feels like a desperate attempt at making Blofeld appear even more villainous, when all we need is him in the chair. Granted, this scene with the watch giving Blofeld his eye wound was a nice addition.
Bond handily escapes the facility killing S.P.E.C.T.R.E. soldiers one shot at a time while accidentally blowing up the entire station with one fire. He and Madeleine rendezvous in London with the now defunct 00 section of MI6 which only consists of M, Q, and Moneypenny (wouldn’t it be great to meet other 00 agents again?). I almost forgot Tanner (Rory Kinnear) but that’s just because he doesn’t do anything in this movie. On their way to arrest Max Denbigh, aka “C” (Andrew Scott [aka Moriarty from Sherlock]), Bond, M, and Q t-boned by a pick-up truck, which I didn’t think existed in England, and kidnap Bond. M has his final confrontation with C, and ends up killing him as Q disables Nine Eyes. I don’t really have any problems with the scene except I couldn’t discern the punchline to M’s “What does C stand for?” joke. I now know he said “careless” which feels like a wasted opportunity at a better punchline. During the entire movie, M has basically only monologued about the importance of the 00-section and being able to pull the trigger, something that has probably been said in at least once during every actor’s stint as 007. I understand this subplot needed to be fleshed out more for the final act of the movie, and it works, but the whole surveillance and drone approach is clearly more effective in some ways than 9 agents who can seemingly do whatever they want without real consequence. But the rest of the English government is even more idiotic for thinking surveillance and drones can fully replace humans in terms of crime-prevention. There’s nothing more I can really say about that, but I didn’t really find it necessary that C die, especially the way he did.
Moving on to the final showdown between Bond and Blofeld in the ruins of the old MI6 headquarters. Bond’s name painted in red on the memorial wall would have been a nice touch had they not shown it in the trailer, and the whole firing range walk-through is a little too reminiscent of The Man with the Golden Gun for me to praise anyone for it. Bond finds Blofeld standing in a bulletproof cage that only exits one direction. As cool as so much of this was, it was a little over theatrical for my taste. Blofeld wasn’t ever one for painting directions on the walls and putting up pictures of deceased friends and enemies, he was just a bad guy who wanted Bond out of his hair. Anyway, Blofeld gives Bond three minutes before he blows up what’s left of the building so that he can either escape or die trying to save Madeleine. This is where Bond should have just escaped and stopped Blofeld on his own, but he has to save the girl he has very little chemistry with so that the audience likes him. Connery used to pull women in front of bullets after having sex with them. I’m just saying it’s uncharacteristic of Bond, especially at this point in Craig’s run, to give up a chance at saving the world to save a girl with whom he spent a few days.
Of all the deus ex machinas this movie throws at us, this one has to be the worst. Bond eventually finds Madeleine with less than a minute to get out of the building. We get the cliche “Do you trust me?” which has been said at least a hundred different times in similar scenarios, including Bond movies. They jump off the building, in full view of Blofeld and henchmen, and they land safely in a giant net. What was a net even doing there? Why would that have been at MI6 headquarters? How was it still set up? I don’t know, but we needed them to escape, so we got it. Then what follows is yet another fucking helicopter chase, this time with a boat, because we can’t seem to have a Bond movie without helicopters and boats. Bond takes down the chopper just by shooting at it with his pistol. At first, I was okay with him being desperate enough as to not let Blofeld escape. I would have preferred Blofeld escape and Bond deal with the fact that he failed despite saving an innocent life. But no, this is once again a finale for Mendes and for Craig, so that chopper has to go down with a shot to the engine in the dark from hundreds of feet away. Bond chooses not to kill Blofeld with the excuse of not having any bullets and M arrests him. It’s just stupid. It’s Pierce Brosnan-era stupid. We can’t leave any glaring loose ends before switching actors, which has only happened in Diamonds are Forever which had Connery continuing Lazenby’s story from On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.
The film ends with Bond driving off in the original Aston Martin with Madeleine, and thus concludes the story of the blonde blue-eyed Bond. Again, I have problems with this. The Aston Martin was a great reveal in Skyfall you can’t just do it again because you showed Q working to repair it early in the movie. That nostalgic hole was already filled. Also, as I’ve said earlier, Madeleine and Craig have terrible chemistry, and if anyone should be in the passenger seat of that car, it’s Moneypenny, but we needed a longer plot with more boring action sequences and a new Bond girl people care about, so Moneypenny is old news I guess.
I’m sure there’s more I could discuss, but that more or less concludes my review of Spectre. Craig’s Bond career has become a metaphor for the franchise as a whole, and instead of watching all 24 films now, you can just watch these four, and you’ll get the gist of it. The performances are all great, though I think the expectations for Christoph Waltz are unreasonably high, because everyone expects Hans Landa out of him. Craig’s Bond career has become a metaphor for the franchise as a whole, and instead of watching all 24 films now, you can just watch these four, and you’ll get the gist of it. Overall, Spectre is a solid entry in the Bond franchise. Yes, I said solid. Because what Bond fans have failed to realize, especially in recent years, is that very few of them are considered great films. The campy nature of most of these movies is a part of the Bond iconography, and Spectre exhibits some of the best and worst qualities of every era of the franchise. To reiterate some of the main points. It’s too long, the romance is contrived, pointless and unbelievable, the cinematography is off the charts, a lot of the action is lazily done, and while it does a good job of tying the rest of the Craig era together, it botched the relationship between the primary antagonist and the protagonist. Most of the people I know have already seen this, but in case you’ve read this detailed rant, I might still recommend it, because in spite of everything I’ve said, you can probably still enjoy it, and your opinion matters just as much as mine.
007: B
Average: C+
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2379713/

I apolgise if at any point I had given you, reader, the impression that I like forests, mountains, and sleepy towns. I'm staying in a nice, warm (!) little place right next to the Central Market. For lunch, I had steak, potatoes, and shrimp. Fresh meat, seafood, and the greatest vegetable ever.
Wait a sec. I have to run over to the stove, someone's buring coffee.
It's one of those stove-top espresso makers.
Okay, that reminds me of one last anecdote. I see all sorts of funny things, but I forget half of them. Sasha would make coffee by pouring grounds into a cup and boiling it. Olga, leaving for home, but returning in mid-December, left all her bags in Toni's garage. Sasha got her coffee maker, and seemed impressed by the increase in quality of his brew.
The other thing I remember is that the refugi had these ceilings that tapered down to the floor, and I must have hit my head a dozen times getting up from bed too normally. Didn't help that the beams were 2x4s on their edge, spaced a little less than a bed-width apart.
Bang! Roll over. Bang!
I got used to it eventually. I guess I could have turned around to sleep at the foot of the bed, but that just struck me as poor style.
Speaking of coffee, I did have a second coffee at the restaurant in Cornudella. So two coffees in two months (my first in Marseille). Pretty reckless pace there. I've gotten a bit of a tolerance -the second coffee didn't keep me up all night like the first. It's possible I've been taking in caffeine via chocolate and nutella. Being in Valencia, I'm eating healthy again, and have been rewarded with a headache. It's either the caffeine withdrawl, or a symptom of throwing back those beers at that blues club last night.
First night, Bond. James Bond. Bond somehow sounds less cool in Spanish. The actor went more with "grizzled," rather than "refined." He made Bond seem tough, but Craig's bond is all vulnerable and human. He gets kidnapped like three times in this film. Due to the language barrier, I wasn't able to determine if Javier Bardem wanted Bond to talk, or to die. I also have no Earthly idea how Bardem did that thing he did. I really hope it makes sense in English, but I have a feeling it doesn't.
I'm going to go over the plot of Skyfall now.
Spoilers.
James Bond is in... some kind of country. An assassin has gotten a hold of intelligence, I'm guessing it's the names of spies in the field. Bond's about to get the info back via a thrilling chase-sequence, but gets shot in the chest by his partner.
Oops.
Bond gets depressed, decides to bum around in... some country. Everyone thinks he's dead.
Meanwhile, Javier Bardem uses the stolen info to start killing agents in the field. He then blows up MI6. Bond catches the story on TV, and decides to come back in.
Bardem reaaaaally hates Judy Dench for some reason...
Stuff happens.
Bond manages to get kidnapped somehow.
Hey! It's Javier Bardem! He's just shown up for the first time in this film, it's a big reveal!
Stuff.
MI6 captures Bardem, Bardem somehow (how, HOW?!) escapes, chase, kaboom, chase, kaboom, blam blam, vroom.
Then the Bond and Dench go to Scotland to chill at Skyfall, the Bond family cottage. For some reason.
They know Bardem is coming after them (for some reason...) so they booby-trap the place.
Skyfall explodes.
Stuff.
The end.
End spoilers.
I still liked it more than Quantum of Solace.
Second night. Live music. Rock and Roll. Well, Blues.
A staff member here pointed me in a direction of a dive in a sketchy part of town -perfect. I spent a while walking around, trying to find this hole in the wall, but figured I was in the right place when I saw this Elwood Blues looking guy chilling in a restaurant in the area. Suit, black. Hat, black. It's 10:00 pm, and he's wearing sunglasses.
Sure enough, the spot was around the corner.
This Anthony Bourdain looking dude was chatting with me at the bar. He was the harmonica player. I introduced myself as Duane, and he immediately got it.
"Duane Allman."
I told him I had a brother named for Gram Parsons.
I got instant cred with a Spanish blues musician.
They (Missisippi Alligators) go on, and sure enough, Elwood takes the stage, playing slide. The outfit's fronted by this Kristen Stewart looking chick. Remember when Scarlett Johansson did an album with Tom Waits? There's some alternate universe where Dan Aykroyd, Anthony Bourdain, and Kristen Stewart are in a band.
I've got to get to El Chorro.
Looking down at my hands in the shower this morning, I saw that they were purple, the skin is gone. Crazy really, considering how good my skin has been. I've got no gashes or splits, they've just been shaved back. Everyone uses Climb On! here. It's a pleasant-smelling wax that aids in skin repair. I don't use it. Maybe I should?
It occurs to me that El Chorro is near Malaga. Rather than travel 600 miles tomorrow, and hitch-hike into the mountains, I could just go to Malaga, chill for the weekend, and travel the last 40k to El Chorro fresh. So glad I'm eating real food. That idea never would have occured to me.